The mother of all posts
Last year I wrote a Mother’s Day post replete with not so subtle hints for gifts I may or may not be coveting for my outdoor adventures. The kids gave me a plant; lovely, but not quite handy as a means of propelling oneself down a scenic river way. If they want to “go green” this year, may I suggest trees? Specifically, 11 laminates of butternut, basswood, black willow and alder...eh hem.
They don’t read my blogs, so this year I might resort to more drastic measures. Believe me, I am not beyond blackmail. Thankfully, I hold particular sway this year over our best gift giver in our family, next to Mr. PQ of course. The youngest kid will survey your gift suggestions, perhaps a month in advance, he will then set a budget, work the appropriate hours, accounting for taxes and savings and then walk to Target to procure a gift for you. He is such a sweetheart it really gives me pause as I print out “Harley Holmes Mom taught me on Career Day” stickers. While Mr. Gift Giver is a total mom’s boy at home, out in public, I am persona non grata. He handed me a list of what I could and could not say for Career Day last week.
- Use only your first name. There are not enough Holmes in the school for adequate cover.
- Do not say you have a student at Metro Middle School
- You can say you have kids, but you can’t say you have sons
- Don’t worry about having kids in your class, if you can’t get into what you really want, they put you in the sessions that don’t have enough kids.
- I might, might end up in your room (see item above), act like you don’t know me.
Career day went great, I followed my list to the letter, and utterly delighted when the kid came home and announced a girl in his class told him “Your mom was a great speaker.” How could this girl know? “I knew it was your mom, you look just like her.” We have an extremely shallow gene pool. People have mistaken the oldest and youngest for twins.
If my kids rally and buy me the paddle for Mother’s Day, I’ll likely hang it in our room, where I can admire it at night. There are few things as gorgeous to me as well crafted wood. The color nuances, the character brought about by an insect bore or a lightening strike, the subtleties. In the event you don’t read your mom’s blog or Facebook page, and you know she’s a nature lover, I would highly recommend one of our Contega cases for iPad or one of our many iPhone cases that enclose and protect your phone in one of nature’s true beauties.
Kari
Mrs PQ
